Trust

I believe that one of the main reasons that God brought me here was to take all of my safe places away.

That's rather rough when sitting in an auditorium with 250 strangers, knowing that you'll have to get to know one of them within a week or your grade will suffer.

It's even rougher at 10:30 p.m. in an empty computer lab, talking to the love of my life who can't hold me across 800 miles.

I've found two small groups of godly people that I think He wants me to stay with. But I know I have to learn to take responsibility for my own life, and that I won't always feel safe. He never promises security. Only peace. And looking back, I haven't been all that worried.

"A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God."
--Ecclesiastes 2:24-26

I think I'm on the right track. I'm taking care of myself, I'm taking care of my responsibilities on time, I'm not idle. God is taking care of the rest: people have been good to me, I have all kinds of resources if I need help with anything at all. And through that, He's teaching me to ask.

I don't know what the final result will look like. I don't even know what kind of job I want after I'm done with my education. But I'm content. My parents raised me, everyone has taught me something, and my Father is taking care of me. Not so that I can do whatever I put my mind to, but so that God can use my mind for whatever He wills. Nothing gives me more joy, nor feelings of security.