Title explanation

Last semester I was meeting with a counselor on a regular basis for a few months. It was rather like talking to a doctor, only about emotional ailments. The arrangement didn't last very long, as these things go, but the counselor did his best to provide me with the tools necessary to continue working on the issues on my own. One of these tools was a book: Changes That Heal by Dr. Henry Cloud. I had my doubts about the usefulness of a book as opposed to relationships, but it has proved to be extremely helpful in the process of self-diagnosis.

The first section of the book (before it begins addressing any specific problems) talks about the ingredients for true, lasting change. These are labeled grace, truth, and time. In this context, grace is unconditional love, and truth refers to the truth about who God is; who I am; what the world is like; and what is right and wrong, healthy and unhealthy.

Truth without grace is simply judgment, the Law of the Old Testament. The book of Romans has a lot to say about the law. Even assuming we believe that the whole law is good, we cannot fulfill it on our own. "'All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.' ... Therefore no one will be declared righteous in [God's] sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin" (Romans 3:12,20 NIV). So without grace, we have no hope of being in a relationship with God. Our sin gets in the way, and we cannot remove it.

Grace without truth is simply license. We have all seen what happens to children who are raised without rules; moreover, we know from Scripture that sin does nothing but harm to ourselves and to others. As much as I am grateful for God's unconditional love for me, I don't want sin to simply continue unchecked in my life, and neither does He. (If He allowed that, it would mean He did not care about my welfare.)

This book goes on to describe the way that God does relate to us: He accepts us in full realization of what we are, what we have done, and how much we have hurt Him and other people - that is, He loves us as we are, not as we should be. He then gives us direction for the future, showing us how to live in the way that is best for us and for bringing glory to Him, if indeed that is what we want.

To the Christian reader, these concepts may seem elementary. And in fact, they are the most basic elements of our faith, organized in a way that I had not seen before reading this book. That is why it is so vital that we understand them, and so deadly when we do not.

I have been emotionally sick for many years because I have refused to (at the same time) accept grace from and be honest with God and other people. I often fear that when people know the truth about how much of a failure I am, I will be proven unworthy of their love and help. And that's true. I'm not worthy of anything good. (Incidentally, neither is the person offering good to me.) But as a young lyricist has said, "The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair." God is fully aware of my sin and weakness, and yet He forgives and loves me. His people will do the same, as they trust in Him. I am only now beginning to try to accept this.

Finally, change takes time. Not all time contributes toward change. But when a person spends time in both grace and truth, experiencing both together in relationships (over and over and over again), that person can grow. The process cannot be rushed, but God is in charge of it, and he has promised us abundant life. "...he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6). This is, and always has been, our hope.